Untamed

I’ve never cared to notice many people that surround me within life and normally, this doesn’t particularly bother me. I can just as easily go along with my day like a butterfly that seems so care free and flowing with the wind, not caring where it takes it as long as it’s anywhere but where it currently was. Though I am not this free, in reality; inside I am tormented by my past and present, though it is something I decide to keep to myself, despite the damage this may cause myself. As I travel through life, my carelessness about the people around me begins to diminish and I find myself caring for people and how they feel. I am intrigued by who they are, wondering just what makes them so unique and I feel an attraction to these people, not physically mind you, but an attraction to say the least.

They are someone I must know more about, not for a particular reason but because it will give me a sense of feeling, as though these people aren’t so bad after all. There are a few people I have met only recently that have intrigued and interested me in odd ways and yet, I cannot imagine these ways being any other than how they are. I’ve only now really cared to understand and learn why people are as unique as they are. I’ve made a few realizations that I’m rather compatible with people I would have thought otherwise about whilst I was in my state of ignorance.

One person, who has captured my attention has become my closest friend and whilst we are miles apart, I still find that no reason to treat them any differently than I would if they were here right beside me. I have come to care for this individual to an immense amount and I often wonder how I would feel if I had not have known them. To them, I can imagine that they would scoff at the very thought of making a difference to ones life or mood. They’re simply being modest and while most dislike people being such a way, I can’t say that I mind. I actually enjoy praising such persons and wish for the opportunity to let them know I care to always remain open, whether they care to know or not.

Feelings are something that should never have to be wondered or doubted and there is no way I would let this soul ever have wonder how I feel or doubt my feelings. I am often amazed at the skill they possess and they never cease to leave me in a state of content admiration. I often feel saddened when I hear news that they are feeling a little down or have so much to do that they have no time for themselves; the worst thing I dislike hearing is when no one understands them or even tries to. I can’t help but desire to give them everything they deserve and more, as they have been there for me whenever I have needed something, however great or small.

I hold this person very close to my heart and they know who they are, if they’re reading this from direction by me. I don’t feel a need to reduce them to their names as a description of who they are because simply, a name is so un-unique and there aren’t enough good and beautiful words in the English language that can do them any justice. I am often left for words when it comes to expressing how I feel towards them and how great they are as a person, as a friend and anything else they become at times. There is no real reason for writing this entry other than to reassure them that I care for them, enjoy them being around and that I will be there for them whenever they needed me for anything at all.

I suppose this is an outlet to say what I want to say about them but am too shy to admit to them directly and it does feel cowardly but at the same time, it feels comforting to let them know just how much they mean to me. On the same token, I hope that this is all something they can understand and that my words hold no impact on the relationship between us. I’ve learned that losing or damaging something you love is a hefty risk but I have also learned that you get nothing out of life if you aren’t willing to risk something.

You have to stand out from the crowd, like a beautiful rose in a garden of drowning green foliage, finding a way to be yourself without blending in with the scenery, becoming un-noticed. You can’t just hide for your entire life, never letting anyone in to see the real you; a flower cannot be appreciated if it is unwilling to open and let people soak in its warmth and beauty, the insides that make it all worthwhile. That’s just my thoughts, though.